alaska in winter music

A letter to fans

2010-10-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

This is going to be brutally honest but I just want you all to know that it's because of you that I am still here and alive right now....

As some of you know, this past year has been incredibly difficult for me. I've been pouring my blood sweat and tears into this project for the last 3 years only to come to the conclusion that I've gone nowhere with my music "career". I literally can't support myself. I never wished for millions of dollars, fancy cars, or mansions- I had simply hoped that I'd be able to make enough money from my music that I could afford to rent a studio apartment and feed myself- but even that is unrealistic at the moment.

I felt like a failure because I worked so hard for 3 years to "make it" with my music, banging my head into brick walls over and over again- even sacrificing relationships and friendships which I still regret to this day. I got to a point where I thought that I was unsuccessful because I was not making money from my music. That lead to some pretty severe depression which I tried to fix by self medicating myself. I was starving and I couldn't afford heat which lead to health problems, and all I wanted to do was give up. I went years where every single morning I would wake up and have to talk myself out of killing myself...

And for this I apologize. I'm sorry I let myself get to this point of utter despair. I'm sorry that I let money become the measurement of success- money is meaningless. I'm sorry that I lost hope. I'm sorry for all the crazy, stupid, or hurtful things I've said or done to anyone- please forgive me if I have. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to realize that I was becoming like the very people who's greed and hate affected my life. But I now realize that my success is evident in all of YOU, the fans, in the love that you give. "Hate is not conquered by hate: hate is conquered by love" and I'm thankful that you all have helped me to see this.

Yes it's true that I'm dead broke. Yes it's true that after 3 years, my music makes no money. Yes it's true that I decided to give up music for good. Yes I was severely depressed. Yes, I developed a substance abuse problem. Yes I thought myself into a suicidal hole that I couldn't get out of. Yes it's true that some people/ record labels screwed me over really badly. Yes I almost starved to death. Yes I've wrecked my body and my mind pretty badly. Yes I nearly died. Yes I was hospitalized. Yes I spent time in the psych ward. Yes, I've made a lot of mistakes. Yes there have been plenty of negative people in my life/ career that may have contributed to my loss of faith in humanity, but ultimately I have no one else to blame other than myself. I did this to myself, and only I am responsible. I'm sorry that I let myself get to this point, and I'm sorry that I let myself lose faith in humanity and myself.

I understand if people think I'm "crazy" or whatever. I honestly don't care what people think of me. I've hit rock bottom. I know I have problems and I'll be the first one to admit it. I'm being totally honest and open here- I'm messed up. But I want you all to know that I have changed my mind, I've chosen to live, I'm working on restoring my health and stabilizing myself. I've finally come to accept my situation and everything that has happened. I've also decided that I actually want to continue making music again.

What changed my mind you might ask? YOU, the fans, friends, and family- you who are the only thing getting me through this difficult time. It's the overwhelming love and support from the fans that keep me going. I'm amazed at how loving and generous you can be. I am so lucky and undeserving to have such loyal fans. There are people out there that have never even met me but care for me and treat me like family- it brings tears to my eyes. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to realize this, but YOU have changed my mind and life for the better and made me see that there's still beauty in the world. My fans, friends, and family are the only reason that I'm alive right now, and because of this I feel indebted to you.

I want you all to know that I am recovering and doing much better now thanks to all of you. I have also decided to finish the 60+ incomplete songs that I've been working on for the last 3 years. I've decided I'm going to finish what I started because all of you have shown me that it's worth doing. I'm going to finish this music for YOU, money or no money, because I owe it to you.

And so I am retreating into my "studio" to record like a mad man and I won't come out until I've finished what I started. With that said, please know that I am going to be extremely busy- and if you write to me and I don't respond for a while, it's not because I don't care or that I'm ignoring you, it just means that I'm busy working on new music to fill your ears with (I still have messages from 4 months ago that I'm trying to respond to and I'll try and get back to every single one of you but it may take time). So if you don't hear from me for a while, please don't be alarmed or saddened, it just means I'm busy recording new music for you... and that's something to be happy about!

Life is not worth living unless there is beauty and love within it- and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for opening my eyes and showing me the love and beauty which I was blind to for so long.

Love,
Brandon

Road to Recovery

2010-05-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

Hello friends, fans and all, this is Brandon here. First of all I want to thank everyone out there for their concern, help, overwhelming support, and kind words. Just to let you know am out of the hospital now, recovering and and working on getting my self stabilized and of course anxious to get back to the music and get those new jams pumping into your ears.
(if any of this is news to you, read story below).

There has been an overwhelming amount of people asking to donate or if there is some sort of donation place set up. So as a result, I half reluctantly set up a paypal.com account for people who wish to make donations, but please, only donate if you have the means! If you are a poor college student struggling to get by, please don't send me your money, I would feel bad and would have to return it, seriously! So again, I stress that if you want to make a donation, please do so only if you are in a very sound economic situation and feel like you want to. I feel funny about taking money from people when I haven't earned it, but enough people have asked for this... so paypal donations can be sent to: alaskainwinter [at] yahoo [.] com.

Also, people have been asking about a good place to buy my music so that the money isn't going to a greedy label that steals everything. For those of you who specifically live in Europe/UK/ the rest of the world (this doesn't really apply to those in north america), and who want to buy some Alaska in Winter music- the best place right now to buy my music is at:
http://www.gogoyoko.com/#/artist/alaskainwinter
(all the albums are available)

Gogoyoko.com is a great website run by artist, so when you buy from there, none of that money goes to any greedy label of mine- pretty much 100% of the profits go to the artists and in addition to that, each artist donates a percentage of their sales to the charity organizations that are associated with gogoyoko... so it's a good deal all around.

Many of you have written to me for encouragement or commented their support and I will do my best to get back to as many of you as I can. I appreciate each and every one of you who has showed me support and help at this very hard time in my life and I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart. Some of you have even put together benefit shows for me with out me even asking for such a thing, so thanks to Daniel from the Frail, DJ Mario Muse and many others out there who are showing such support.
Thank you all.
Brandon

for additional info/questions- emailt: info [at] alaskainwinter [.] com

Brandon of Alaska in Winter Hospitalized

2010-05-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Dear friends, fans, and supporters
Brandon has been in the hospital for some time. He came in dangerously emaciated, delirious and in critical health. His stay in the psychiatric ward is for treatment of severe depression and chemical psychosis. There's a possibility that treatment will continue for another month until Brandon is stabilized and out of his paralyzing depression. But Brandon assures us all that he has loads of exciting new material in the works and tons of music close to completion- but fate has dealt a harsh blow that Brandon is finding extremely hard to get back up from. Brandon's economic state is hurting bad which is preventing the production of new music- even the basic necessities like food, and paying rent is a huge obstacle for him. There are many unfortunate factors that are out of Brandon's control which are preventing him from finishing nearly 3 albums worth of heart melting music.

Needless to say this winter has taken it's toll on Brandon with living in poverty, isolation, near homelessness, depression, and the inability to pay for food and heating- courtesy of Brandon's record labels. Brandon's health has deteriorated due to an entire winter with no heat- many nights getting down to 5°F. Living in conditions where one can see their breath inside the house did wonders for Brandon's health and voice. You can all thank Mr. Iain Kirckaldy- owner and manager of Regular Beat Records, for helping to keep Brandon in these miserable conditions. Even knowing that Brandon was hungry, cold and in dire need of money, Iain Kirckaldy lied to Brandon's face and kept the money from him.

Regular Beat currently owes Brandon a very large sum of money from a sync license deal RB made illegally with a film company called Montcau Produccions, S.L. That money was supposed to go to Brandon but with Regular Beat's manipulations, RB managed to make off and steal all of the money (non of which Regular Beat is legally entitled to). Regular Beat has since hid all of Brandon's money in his bank account and seems content with simply ignoring any of Brandon's emails throughout the past 6 months. In addition to that, Regular Beat has yet to pay a single cent to Brandon in 3 years! A lovely way to treat your most important artist isn't it? Anyway, If you'd like to send your thanks, condolences, love, hate mail etc. to Mr. Iain of Regular Beat, please do so at these emails:
info@regularbeat.com
regularbeat@hotmail.co.uk
iain@regularbeat.com

or even send him a letter letting him know how you feel...
Iain Kirkcaldy, P.O. Box 106, Liverpool, Merseyside, L17 4ZR

We'd also like to ask for everyone to boycott Regular Beat. Please do not buy any more AIW music put out by Regular Beat. If you are in Europe/ UK and would like to get some Alaska in Winter music, please email: info [at] alaskainwinter [.] com

Also, if anyone can help Brandon in anyway, or if you know a lawyer in the UK that would be willing to do some legal work (for free) then please contact us at info [at] alaskainwinter [.] com

Thank you all for dealing with Brandon during this difficult time and we assure you all that Brandon is very anxious to get better and back to work on those new releases that we hope will be filling your ears soon.